No, I think I'd better just tell the damn story. Definitely. It will read in a much easier fashion and would draw much more readership, which to a certain degree is part of my objective. I think I'm ready to start, and I can't figure out what I'm waiting for. Probably just fear of facing that first empty page. I have to get to it; I must. 

What about if the protagonist is narrating the events in first person, stream of consciousness? Dialogue normalizes the intensity of the pace, since it's a mental diarrhea that is being spewed out. Also, possibly an occasional  chapter of an alternate point of view - the girlfriend - and maybe even one or two by the car buddy.  I think this might be the only way to keep this novel interesting, or at the very least alive.
The key is not to make the stream of consciousness too heavy, otherwise I'll lose readership. Proper context must be maintained and intensity should only increase during moments of high stress.
I'm going to give this some heavy thought. Sleep on it for a few nights, see if still sounds like a worthwhile approach next week. The main gain out of this though, is the ability to use the original characters and only redefine them by getting into their heads. Once inside there, there should be no limitations and pretty much anything goes. 

Research and preparation

Slowly starting to get it all together...very slowly. Using research as an excuse, I have managed to put off any and all writing so far. Moving by leaps and bounds, I know. But it will all happen. Going through some great writing manuals right now and getting ideas a little clearer in my head, as far as what I want to do. I just need to flesh out the characters a little more. I still have to distance them from the actual people they were at the time, that way I have some legitimate freedom to make them do what I need them to do to keep the story rolling in an interesting fashion. It won't be much longer. I hope...

Letter to Senator Marco Rubio

Dear Senator Rubio:

I find your statements regarding President Obama's new gun control intitiatives reprehensible. None of these initiatives are intended to infringe on our second ammendment rights. They are meant only to assist in public safety. Your politics either cloud your judgement or lead you to behave in this abominable fashion. Have you no sense of shame? Do you not believe your own children are in harm's way when every nut out there is given the right to access every firearm under the sun so that you can keep special interests happy?
Please, I beg of you, reconsider. I am hispanic, but I feel in no way represented by you.

Sincerely,
XXXXXXXXXXX

Death

And then there's death...

Listening to a discussion on the topic on Public Radio and it got me thinking. I'm picturing the scenario of somebody dear to me, on their deathbed, and my having the priceless opportunity to speak to him/her.

You've made my life better just by being in it. I'm sorry I've been so distant through the years, I haven't made the necessary effort to spend more time together. How do I reconcile such enormous selfishness with what I'm saying now? I don't know. I just know it's true, the way I feel. That you've added to my life's worth and I'm a better man for having loved you. Too often we allow those close to us to depart without a proper goodbye. I don't know if it's too late to speak these words, if it might seem to be only a cowardly thing to do, bailing myself out of future regrets, but in my heart I feel I'm being truthful and just now speaking the truth I've kept inside. Love is not a decision we make, it is merely an emotion that decides for us. From early days I've been troubled by an inability to properly deal with my emotions, and though I've tried to fight my innate tendency to hide away when uncomfortably flustered by love's tangled web, the pull of my deeply flawed character has usually won out.

Tell the tale from the beginning...?

"The tale the beggar tells must be told from the beginning," wrote Elie Wiesel. Indeed. I understand the point made by the statement, even though I'm reading it in a vacuum, devoid of any context. It speaks clearly to me, and in volumes. Obviously a beggar's story can't be complete without including the path that led him to begging. But what strikes a chord for me, regarding this quote, is the question it seems to inevitably lead to, once you've arrived to the aforementioned conclusions. Must not everybody's tale be told from the beginning, if there is to be a full faceted understanding of his/her story?
I'm not going to attempt an essay on the subject, though I probably should. The truth is I'm too lazy to try. No, I just want to use this statement to add to my understanding of my novel's central character. He is the sum of many parts. To wit, his genes, upbringing, education and life experiences are the most fundamental of those parts which have contributed in some way to carving his character and personality. But these are painted on with a very broad brush. There is much minutiae within each contributor that shifts the balance of influence one way or the other. My dilemma is whether to consider these only for the sake of character development, or use them as a part of the narrative (be it in the form of biographical details, flashbacks, or as retrospective explanations for decisions made throughout the story). Perhaps it's best only to consider them privately as the writer, and allow them to shape the character in my mind before committing it to paper. Hmm...

Miami Book Fair

Spent a lovely afternoon with the family yesterday, visiting the Miami Book Fair on it's final day. Found many good deals on used books, bought a handful of new books (including an autographed copy of Adam Johnson's "The Orphan Master's Son"), and attended some very interesting and entertaining lectures and readings by contemporary authors. We've done this before and it's always a treat. On this occasion we took my daughter (nearly 13) and my sister in law. My wife had a list of lectures she was interested in and I had my own. She grabbed her sister, I took my daughter, and off we went our separate ways. It worked out well and I believe my daughter had a wonderful, educational time.
One of the lectures we attended was comprised of three authors, all of them writers of Young Adult fiction. I thought my daughter might find it interesting to hear directly from authors regarding books she might actually read. We decided to purchase novels from two of them. It was a whole new experience for her. I'm hoping she's discussing her day with her schoolmates today and speaking about it in glowing terms. Any encouragement these kids can get toward enjoying books is an improvement over the status quo.
I received a different type of encouragement myself, yesterday. Watching and listening to all these authors gives me a sense of longing to be there, speaking as an author and reading excerpts of my work. I need to break through the research phase and begin the actual writing. I'm afraid I'm stalling at this point and it's scaring me. I don't want to be a potential writer anymore; somebody who is capable of writing a novel, just hasn't done it yet. If I wait any longer I'll simply be somebody who never wrote anything. A nobody.
We all got together at the final lecture, one that both my wife and I had on our lists: Jaime Bayly. It was terrific and a perfect way to end the day. Walked a couple of blocks to my car and we left downtown, heading home. On the way there, we compared titles and exchanged anecdotes. Everybody had a story to tell. Can't think of a better way to spend a Sunday afternoon. Can't wait 'til next year!